The Toughest Subject

If you'd been a fly on the wall in my home today, there is no doubt that you would have cringed.

"K, don't swerve your bike in front of that car!" (K continued to whine and fuss the remainder of the day.)

"T, keep your focus on your own work and not your brother's!" (T twiddled his thumbs for a while longer, but eventually completed his math worksheet.)

"L, stop yelling at me this instant!" (She continued to yell, fuss, and whine for the rest of the morning, but thankfully by afternoon had decided to cooperate.)

It was not, to say the least, a good day for any of us. I'm really praying that all of our neighbors were at work and couldn't hear the frustration that was evident in us all. Despite the rough school day, however, I suddenly realized something very important, even though I am sure the kids gleaned nothing of value from the day.

The toughest subject for me to teach is not the one I anticipated. It's not math, even though I struggled with Calculus in high school. It's not English, even though the concepts are difficult to convey to a 6-year-old.

Kindness is, by far, the toughest subject for me to teach.

Why? Not only is it something that I struggle with on a daily basis, but it's also something that I do not live out in front of my children. Added to that is the fact that it's a very difficult concept for a child to grasp (well, it's difficult for my kids, anyway).

And if I cannot demonstrate how keep the law of kindness on their tongues, I won't be very good at teaching them anything else, either. It all comes back to me: am I willing to humble myself and ask their forgiveness, to set aside my short temper in order to be a living example of Christ?

More often than not, I'm unwilling to do this. I let my sin nature set the course for the day. I do not fully rely on the power of God to overcome my failings. This wasn't easy for me to learn, but as I listened to myself today - almost as though I were watching all of us from a different vantage point - I realized that I still have a lot of learning and growing to.

In a way, it's exciting. I still have time to teach them what I'm currently learning. And I can trust in God to round out my weak areas, because even though I am responsible for my actions, my children will be responsible for theirs. He can complete my incomplete model, and He can instruct them in the areas where I have failed.

Perhaps this wasn't a completely wasted day, after all!